For those who prioritise texture above all else.
A fermented yellow scotch bonnet relish, slow-processed four weeks in sea salt brine. Bright, fruity, and surprisingly ferocious for something that looks like sunshine. Scoop it on cheddar. Fold it intae mayonnaise. Eat it by the spoonful if ye've got the nerve.
Tropical and deceptive on the nose — mango, pineapple, the cheerful warmth o' something that intends tae harm ye. A slow, honeyed heat that builds without mercy. The texture is the thing: chunky, alive, present.
Chilli peppers fae Fife, aye Fife. Grown in Scottish soil, picked at peak heat, delivered straight tae the Fermentorium.
Vintage Autumn '25 · Yield 14kg
Rough chopped by hand wi' Blackthorn sea salt flake. 2.5% by mass — nae mair, nae less. That's the rule.
Salt 2.5% · pH 5.4
Weeks in the dark tae let lactobacillus work. We let nature have her wicked way wi' them. She disnae disappoint.
Temp 19°C · pH drop 5.4 → 3.6
Blended wi' carrot, onion, garlic, spices and ACV. The Jamaican Bad Bwoy influence. Then left alone tae find itself.
ACV 5% acidity · Rest 14 days
Bottled by hand in Leith, numbered, sealed wi' wax, and posted oot the door wi' a note fae Tha Gee Dogg.
Bottle 150ml · Batch №001
PURE NATURAL · NEVER RUSHED · AYE WORTH IT
Every bottle starts the same way. Scottish peppers, Blackthorn salt, glass. Weeks in the dark while the lactobacillus does its grim, glorious work. We build the sauce by hand — ACV, aromatics, a stubborn opinion aboot when a thing's ready!
Nae machines. Nae shortcuts. Nae rush.
Current batch